Respecting the Fallow Ground

For me, the New Year forces retrospection; the search for mistakes to correct and improve upon. This New Year, completing my usual review, I came up with an unusual resolution: to accept my mistakes as the natural flow of life.

I had numerous, unavoidable personal setbacks in 2023 that required enormous personal work and energy. But I told myself 2024 was a new start and the time to buckle down. My conscious, rational mind tried to corral myself along a linear path. However, it seemed the more determined I was to be “productive”, the less my spirit complied.

I alternated between fits of daydreaming and activity. My brain darted off down paths like a dog after a rabbit, getting stuck in numerous rabbit holes. I started new products knowing they required techniques and equipment yet unlearned. I became obsessed with tracking down and finding the ‘perfect’ texture and finish. I reflowed my new (smaller) workspace, determined to invest in new equipment.

And then, there were the non-jewelry passions. A winter moribund garden, in our new house purchased during the winter, burst into unexpected blooms. Their surprise beauty brought joy and a new craft within which to immerse myself.

And, recently, design ideas have started to bubble up to the surface. I am slowly getting unstuck, buoyed by the joy of creating. Perhaps I wasn’t making rational mistake after mistake.

To borrow a simple analogy from the garden, perhaps I was in a fallow stage. The garden’s initial barrenness belied a busy creation below the soil. Over winter the plants were conserving, germinating, in preparation for their glorious output.

Perhaps I was trying to push for productivity in a time when my creative life needed to rebuild in quiet. I needed to lay the ground, invest in the right conditions. And then, the hardest thing of all, to wait. And to trust. Allow daydreams and flights of fancy. Let a little magic breathe into me.

And trust that the fallow stage would come to its natural end, and creative life would begin again - enriched, and more glorious.

Thank you for continuing with me along my journey.  Sending you best wishes for a glorious 2025!